love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
