What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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