oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
