I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
