And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just cut my nipple shaving
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
