My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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