Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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