I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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