Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize