The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Pooping to opera.
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