Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just cropdusted the office
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
