In the future we'll all be gay
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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