I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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