Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
