he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
