Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
