I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
