Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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