im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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