but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
