oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
