Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
