Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My liver just had a heart attack.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
