Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
that may or may not have been my penis.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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