The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
