oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
