dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
