Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
