Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize