all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize