Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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