when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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