There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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