I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
