Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize