4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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