I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
