lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
