i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This is the high leading the old right now
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
