sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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