Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize