Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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