Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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