thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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