So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
