I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
