Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
