this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Barsexuality is the new black.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
