Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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