The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've blown a few things in my day
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Drake has all the answers
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
