Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
