She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
