No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
