were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
