What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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