They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
