3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
