I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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