We're like a lot better than the average bears
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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