I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
