I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
this will be a night to untag.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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