Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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