...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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