Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
