some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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