so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
