i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
