I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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