Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
3pm strippers are depressing
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
