great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
