I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
