Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
