Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
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