Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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