Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
